I Changed Him!
by Bark. Thy name is Kitty
Summary: Not a oneshot. Kagome is writing in her diary while Inuyasha is with Kikyo. Just some random thoughts about how Kagome feels! When he comes back he reads her diary and everything in it. Oh dear god! R&R Some poetry! does not rhyme! lol sorry its so short!
1. I Changed Him

Doggy Ears n Emily: Well you guys this is just something I wrote when I couldn't sleep and I'm making it into a story. This is just chapter 1. I wonder what Inuyasha and Kikyo are talking about? This particular part is when Inuyasha is out with Kikyo and Kagome is writing in her diary until he comes back. What will happen next?

**I Changed Him!**

I changed him

She couldn't and I did

I didn't really mean for it to happen

It just did

I don't know why

I don't know how

But I did

And that's good right?

Did I change him for the better?

I mean he's kinder

He's gentler

He's more loving

He has friends now

He's not alone anymore

I fixed that didn't I?

And he's happy isn't he?

With me

And Miroku

And Sango

And Kirara

And even Shippo

Right?

He talks to me

He doesn't talk to her

He talks to me

But he still…

He protects me

And not her

But he still…

But he still…

He still loves her

And not me

But I love him

With all my heart

And all my soul

But he still loves her

He's open to me

He never told her about his mother

Or about the time when he's most weak

He told me

But he still loves her

I saw all of his sides

His half demon side

That everyone sees

His full demon side

When he's most dangerous

And his human side

When he's most weak

I accepted them all

She wanted his weaker side

She wanted to change him

Change him for _her_ selfish needs

But he still loves her

Do I really hate her that much?

Yes

But why?

_Because he loves her_

But that's so selfish

I shouldn't hate her

_But you're only human Kagome_

He's with her now

He has to come back

Come back to find jewel shards

With me

His _shard detector_

Come back to kill Naraku

With me

His _sacred arrow_

And when he comes back

I have to stop writing this poem in my diary

And I have to stop crying

I have to stop crying

Just stop crying

I changed him

She couldn't and I did

And yet

Inuyasha loves Kikyo

Not me

Not Kagome

It hurts

It hurts so much

It hurts because

Because

Because I love him

I love Inuyasha

And he loves her!

Love Kagome


	2. Inuyasha's True Feelings

**I Changed Him!**

Doggy Ears n Emily: Hey peoples! I'm updating and it's a little longer. Yay! Hope you enjoy! Oh, just so ya know this is Kagome's POV. You probably already noticed that but anyways, Enjoy!

**Inuyasha's True Feelings!**

Right when I was done with my _poem_, Inuyasha appeared at the doorway. I wiped my eyes to where he couldn't see. "Hey Inuyasha." I said with a fake smile.

Inuyasha didn't realize anything was wrong and looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "You still awake? It's late you…you should go to sleep." He suggested in his usual rude tone. He sat Indian style against the wall and stared out the window at the crescent moon.

'_It's almost time for the new moon. The time when I am the most weak. The time when I can't protect Kagome like I want to.'_ He thought as he sighed still staring into space.

I nodded sadly and got out a simple "K" as I climbed into my sleeping bag and closed my chocolate brown eyes. I was pretty tired. The only thing that kept me from falling asleep was the fact that I had to make sure Inuyasha came back. I soon drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Inuyasha stared at my curvy body as I slept. He lost himself in thought about what had happened earlier.

FLASHBACK— Inuyasha's POV— 

'_I can't believe I'm going to do this, but I have to!'_ I thought as I walked into a clearing in the forest. I _had_ to do this because I don't love _her_!

"Kikyo, we need to talk!" I said in a very serious voice, like I was in a battle.

A woman with midnight black hair and very, very cold chocolate eyes in her usual kimono stood in the clearing. Kikyo's soul collectors surrounded her lifeless body and soon left to find more souls for her.

"I am aware of that, Inuyasha." She said emotionlessly as always taking a step towards me.

I wanted to keep my distance from my _last_ love. When she took that step towards me I took a step back.

Kikyo gave up quickly. "Inuyasha, you have changed. I can see it in your eyes. Has this _copy_ of me made you soft?" she said staring curiously into my eyes.

'_Argh that damn girl actually did it. I was the one who was supposed to open him up and reveal his softness. And the stupid wench did it before me.'_ She thought as a single emotion of jealously burned in her eyes. And I could see it!

"Feh, so what if I changed. It was for the better, Kikyo!" I replied with a small smirk appearing on my face.

"Whether you have changed or not you still made a promise that I intend for you to keep, Inuyasha! You do wish to keep your promise, do you not?" Kikyo said still with jealously.

"Kikyo, I'm not going to hell with you. I'm…I'm staying here with Kagome." He announced with a little bit of pride.

A disgusted smirk appeared on her face. "So you fell in love with that _wench_, hmm? I should have thought as much. She is just a mere _copy_ of me. But of course, I am much stronger and I do not depend on a filthy half breed to protect me!" She said still very calm.

I was getting annoyed by that time. "She's not a wench or _just_ a copy of you either. She…she's different! She smiles! She laughs! She's tries to make everything seem happy no matter what it is. Of course I love her. Oh and for your INFORMATION, I like protecting her! So go to hell by your self!" I said enjoying the look on her face!

At least until she smirked an evil smirk and whispered something I could barely hear but echoed loudly in my head. "No, Inuyasha, I think I shall stay on earth for a little while longer just kill your beloved wench, _Kagome_!" she chuckled and turned to walk away.

Now that pissed me off. "Not a chance." I whispered and took her off guard as I sliced Kikyo with my Tetsusaiga. Her clay _body _turned to dust and blew away in the soft wind. (Wow! That was quick!)

"Nobody calls _my_ Kagome a wench but me!" He said walking back towards the hut.

He was suddenly lost in thought. _'I just killed **Kikyo** for **Kagome** because I love her and she doesn't even love me back. Or at least I don't think so. Oh well, it doesn't matter because she has to stay here a little while longer to find the rest of the Shikon Jewel. She promised she would, she broke it!'_

End Flashback-- 

--

Doggy Ears n Emily: YAY! Kikyo is dead. YAY! Ok sorry guys but I love that! Ok the next chapter will be called 'Inuyasha's Debating Thoughts' maybe! I might change it…I dun no well please review! Flames are fine! And idea's and criticism are welcome too! XD LOL bye guys.

.:Emily:.


	3. Inuyasha's Debating Thoughts

**I Changed Him!**

Doggy Ears n Emily: Sorry for the long update. I've been really busy lately. I'm painting my room Orange and doing lots and lots of shopping! Especially since its Spring Break. YAY. Plus my sister is home so my life is basically a living hell! XD LOL! Oh and this chapter is Inuyasha's POV. Just so ya know.

**Inuyasha's Debating Thoughts**

"Sigh."I let out as I still stared at Kagome.

'_She promised! She promised! She promised!' _I kept telling myself. _'She has to help me __find them. She broke the jewel and she promised to help put it back together. She will! I know she will' _I tried to convince myself and closed my eyes.

'_But what if she gets killed?'_ I asked myself as my eyes flew open. I wasn't trying to think of bad things that could happen. But this stupid voice in my head kept throwing 'What ifs' in my face.

'_Oh she won't die! I **will not **let Anything touch her!'_ I knew that she would Always be safe. I would Always protect her!

'_What if she gets kidnapped?'_

'_Again, Nothing will happen while I'm around!'_ I answered confidant.

'_What about in her time. It might not be as dangerous as this time, but it's still dangerous no matter what she says.'_

'_I'll follow her everywhere she goes.'_

'_She isn't going to like that very much.'_ He made a point. Kagome 'did' hate it when he follows her in her era.

'_Oh well. She'll just have to deal with it won't she!'_

'_Well, What if she asks you about Kikyo? What are you going to tell her?'_

'_Of course, I'll tell her the truth. I killed the clay pot wench!' _

'_Are you going to tell her why? She's going to ask why you killed her.'_

'_I'll tell her it's none of her business.'_

'_That's a little harsh don't you think?'_

'_Uh well fine I'll tell her that I'll tell her when we kill Naraku and collect all the jewel shards.'_

'_What if she leaves before then?'_

'_She won't.'_

'_What if she gets tired of you and goes home?'_

'_But she promised!'_

'_Promises are broken all the time, Inuyasha.'_

'_If that happens…then I'll tell her before she leaves. When she says goodbye.'_

'_What if she doesn't say goodbye? What if its too painful or she doesn't even care at all?'_

'_She will!'_

'_What if she doesn't? Tell her now!'_

'_No!'_

'_Tell Kagome you love her.'_

'_What if she doesn't love you back?'_

'_What if she does?'_

'_I can't take that risk.'_

'_Yes, you can.'_

'_No, If she doesn't love me back then things might not be the same. I want things to stay good. I'm afraid she might leave me.'_

'_Tell her NOW!'_

"No!" Instead of talking in my thoughts I was shouting out loud now.

Kagome sat up lazily. She turned towards me and rubbed sleep out of her eyes. "Is everything all right, Inuyasha?" She asked as she yawned a little.

I just wanted to rock her back to sleep in my arms. She sounded so innocent. But I couldn't. No matter how much I wanted to, I knew that if I waited things might be better. If I waited until everything was done and told her and she didn't love me back, I would still have the time we'd already spent together. Even if I didn't get to hold her all the time, there were still times when I could and those times would be better than ending _this_ short.

"No, everything's _fine_!" I started rudely, but I continued softly. "I'm, I'm sorry I woke you up, Kagome. I'm ok. Just go back to sleep." I didn't look at her. It seemed I was scared that maybe the things I'd been thinking about could be read in my eyes. If I looked at her she would probably know something _was_ wrong.

She sat and stared at me for a second. _'Ok Inuyasha, I know something is wrong!'_ She thought.

Kagome shoved her sleeping bag away and crawled towards me. I still didn't look at her. She stopped right in front of me. We were almost level because she was on her hands and knees like a _dog_.

She leaned in towards my face a little and I finally looked at her when she said, "Ya know Inuyasha, if there's something bothering you, you know you can tell me. You can tell me anything, and I'll stay by your side, _Always_. _I Promise!"_

Those words echoed in my head. She said she promised to stay by my side _Always! Maybe _I could tell her…

"Kagome, do you really **Promise **to stay by my side forever?"

"Of course Inuyasha. I **Promise**!" her eyes looked so truthful. Kagome has not ever lied to me so maybe?

"Well I…

Doggy Ears n Emily: He he he he he he! I'm evil! You guys probably already know what's going to happen. Maybe you're right maybe you're not. I'll never tell…or at least till the next chapter. Heh heh. I think I have an idea of what it will be called. Maybe 'Snooping!' Maybe not. I dunno. Well I g2g. Review and tell me what you think will happen. Oh and

**REVIEW!**

.:Emily:.


	4. Snooping

**I Changed Him!**

Doggy Ears n Emily: I'm so Sorry for the long update! I put up a new story and it's really good! Plus on my **Forgotten Except in your Dreams** story I sorta have writer's block. Suggestions would be nice. And this is still Inuyasha's POV : )

**Snooping**

"Well I…um I, just uh…ya see Kagome…" I couldn't make full sentences. _'Tell her you love her. Tell her you love her.'_ That damn voice kept yelling in my head. I was gonna do it…sorta.

Kagome looked up at me eagerly. I looked into her chocolate eyes and it almost looked like she wanted me to say something specific.

"Yes Inuyasha?" Her cute little nose even with mine and not yet touching.

"Kagome I, I…I killed, Kikyo." I chickened out. And now I had to explain why I killed her. Sigh

The girls' eyes went wide open. "You What?"

The floor became very interesting. "I uh Killed Kikyo! Got a problem with that?" I shot rudely.

"What happened? Are you Okay? Why?" She got slower. "I thought you…loved her Inuyasha."

"I'm fine, Kagome." I hid a smirk and thought up a lie. "I uh wanted to um put her soul to rest yeah!"

Kagome turned her head slightly and looked down. "Are you still…I mean do you still love her?"

"Kagome I,"

"Inuyasha, it's alright. Really. You don't have to tell me how you feel. It's none of my business, Right?" She sighed.

"No Kagome you don't understand." I put my hands on her shoulders but she still didn't look at me.

"I mean it's not like I really care or anything." She wiped her eye and thought. _'Damn, Kagome! Don't cry, You can't let him see!'_

"Kagome,"

"Of course you love her!" she whispered that I could barely hear. "She was first!"

"Kagome!" _'What does that mean? 'She was first!''_ (What a frikin idiot!)

"Well I'm parched. I'm gonna go to sleep. Night, Inuyasha!" she said before crawling on all fours away from me, carefully getting into her sleeping bag, and quickly falling to sleep leaving me dumbfounded!

"Kagome," I whispered, "I don't love her, I love you!" I sighed and stared into space again.

'_Why can't I tell her how I feel?'_ I asked myself_. 'Shouldn't it be easy? Shouldn't I be able to say 'I love you' and not be so frikin scared?'_ Slowly I turned my head towards her sleeping face.

Sigh. Then I saw something pink and red hanging half way out of Kagome's yellow backpack. I became curious and carefully crept past Kagome trying not to wake her. It was a book. The book was pink with red cherries all over it. The cover read "My Diary" in red. The 'i' had a little cherry for the dot.

"_Diary_? What's that?" I said silently. I looked at the diary again and decided to snoop. _'Kagome will never know.'_

I tried to open the weird book butit was stuck. No, a little lock probably protecting the stuff written inside was on the side. The lock wasn't very strong and I could easily break it. But if I did that then Kagome would know and I would get plenty of sits. Not good!

I looked around for a key. On Kagome's wrist there was a golden chain bracelet with little cherry charms. And plus a key with pink swirls.

I slowly lifted her hand and slipped the bracelet off. When I was about to let go I noticed I was squeezing her hand. No. She was squeezing _my_ hand. She rustled in her sleep and mumbled, "I-nu-ya-sha!" She finally let go and snuggled deeper into her sleeping bag.

_'Well that was weird!'_ I thought.

I snapped out of my trance and opened the lock. The inside page after the cover read in pink and red ink,

**Kagome's Diary**

**Keep OUT : P**

I turned the page and read on…

Doggy Ears n Emily: Hiya, I'm sorry about the short chapters guys. My other stories aren't this short. Its just because when I first wrote the poem it was meant to be just a poem but when I typed it I thought up a story to go with it. Funny how things work out. Inuyasha isn't going to read the poem for about another 2-5 chapters. Or more if I think of more. He he. The diary is going to have a lot of stuff in it. Everyone is going to be in it. I will leave out no one! It's gonna be good! And reviewers please give advice on all my stories. It could help me alot! Thanks, Bai!

Love ya, Emily : P


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